Though his body is wracked with injury, childhood sickness (the deadly C-strain of everyday asthma) and general wimpiness, Ashley continues to shine for the Tribe. 

Building on his early days as elementary school trivia champion and his recent success as a TPGA pro (Tribe Pro Golf Assoc.), Ashley has decided to give back to the community, donating a fraction of his immense wealth to the building of the Tribe Hockey Museum, dubbed “The Smithsonian” (located in Washington D.C.).  Ashley spent the summer aboard the Greenpeace vessel “Panda Droppings”, scouring the earth for environmental criminals.  A near scandal occurred when Ash was sent to Langley, B.C. to investigate alleged sexual goat mistreatment.  Charges were never filed and, for this, one member of Tribe owes Mr. Smith a couple of beers. 

Forecast: The King of Breakaways should again score lots of goals and send the ladies into a tizzy.  However, his knees, currently held together by dental floss and single-ply toilet paper, may have other ideas.