It’s been a pleasurable summer for Van Bushycrack, the cocky Tribal all-star netminder.  Just weeks after purchasing Vicks Ltd., and renaming it Van Cough Drops Int., Jason was nominated president of the U.G.M.B.L. (Union of Goalies for Mutual Boot Licking), a sort of billionaire boys club in which opposing goaltenders enter their counterpart’s dressing room after each game and loudly applaud his “incredible, unprecedented performance”. 

Stay tuned for the second annual Van Koughnett Stag, which will likely be held sometime in the fall. 

***Please note: no further comments will be made about Jason’s…well, you know.               Uh                             er                                  well………… 

Ok, just one more, but then that’s it! 

News Flash:

This is Blair Bushmont reporting from Razorbush, Arkansas.  Earlier today, George Bush was ambushed by a bushel of Bushmaster snakes.  When asked about his close shave and razor-thin escape, Bush responded “Whew, can’t talk right now, I’m bushed”. 

OK, that’s it. No more. 

Outlook:  Van Koughnett is a top class goaltender and a positive team member.  It is no coincidence that the team’s fortunes have drastically turned around since his addition to the team from the now defunct Team Hammer.  Jason has the rare ability to win games by himself and will be counted on to do just that if the team doesn’t display the fire it had last season.