* 1998 Spring stats incomplete                       ** Took time off to travel the world

The smoothest skater on the team, Kelsey probably wishes he could skate the puck into the net instead of having to use his stick, which he wields like a tree branch. Hamer is an amazingly hard worker but is never rewarded for his efforts because of his pair of granite hands around the net. Hamer could end up being Tribe’s best player if he ever turns this deficiency around, for his blue-collar effort and responsible positional play is the envy of most Tribal forwards. Kelsey also has terrific speed and the ability to make moves around most players, just not the masked ones. Hamers’ loyalty has been questioned in recent months due to his defection to the short lived "Guarding Some Dumb Fence" experiment that started successfully but folded after only one Spring League season. Hamer also runs a team of "Hamerite" disciples in the lower divisions of the 8-Rinks league and they are programmed to worship him accordingly. Kelsey is not gay.

Famous Quotes:

September 1st, 1997: "Hmm, ok, I’ll play defence for a game or two" [the start of a long stint at defence for Kelsey Hamer]

September 1st, 1998: Pllleeeaase, pleeeeeaaase let me play, I’m sorry (sob) so very sorry" [What Tribe management officially released as the events leading to Hamer’s resigning with the team that fall]

November 27th, 1998: "Hit him for ME, Brad" [Shortly before teammate Brad Copping turned an opposing player into bark mulch, just a few feet from the Tribe bench.]

30 seconds later: "H-H-Hey, n-now we’re even buddy, ok?..please?" [spoken by the opposing player after dragging his crumpled body to the ice in an attempt to avoid a conflict with Hamer]

 Neat little fact about Kelsey:

He almost became half of the first ever father-son combination in Tribe history, but his father, Mike, was forced to donate his skates to the Smithsonian Institute for archaeological study.