* 1998 Spring stats incomplete

Not since the first Austin Powers movie has an evil empire held power equal to the mighty Q-COM Enterprises.  Last season, the humble but ambitious company went global, based on the on-ice success of its CEO, Kevin Qualtrough.  Kevin’s MVP-calibre season propelled his company into a corporate monster within the span of only ten months. 

But trouble was brewing.  On July 8^th, 60 Minutes ran a story on Q-COM’s apparent illegitimate practices, using first-hand accounts from immigrant workers Jose and Paco Alvarez.  According to the two former “employees”, hordes of illegal immigrants, taped to tire axels, were shipped out to Q-COM’s Langley headquarters and forced to sew together “high tech” Q-COM alarm systems from pitiful quantities of wire, nickel alloy, fresh-picked raspberries and beer bottle caps (the latter were in high quantity). Payment was allegedly made not in any viable currency, but instead in beer, goat cheese and signed Kevin Qualtrough hockey cards.  More troubling still, host Barbara Walters has not been seen since the episode aired.  Is no-one safe from the omnipotent arm of Q-COM Enterprises? 

On the ice, there has been no controversy over the play of Mr. Cucumber, who took a leading role in forming the best defensive corps in Tribe history. 

Stinging from a beating at the hands of teammate Mark Benvenuto (67 beers tends to sap one’s strength I guess), Q stepped up his game and deservedly earned the respect of opponents league-wide.  One wild story even cited that Qualtrough actually stopped Mark Dotto in a one-on-one situation in practice.  Though this particular story is quite ridiculous, Q-Com has emerged as both a leader and a solid team player.  His newly appointed “A” belongs on his shoulder and he will continue to be a driving force of Tribe hockey for years to come.